Day Thirty-Two: Under the Radar

    "Church life to [the early disciples] was moving in the adrenaline and excitement of the Holy Ghost at the risk of life and limb," says Beth Moore claiming, "We are all built for adventure."
      Feeling average, moving boldly and nothing happens, thinking you're out on your own, or being stuck in a rut are all common reasons we miss the Great Adventure. Looking for adventure on an average day may suprise you. What might God be doing in and through you when you don't see noticeable results or receive any recognition? Think outside your box- it's not about what God is doing to impact your life but rather how God is using your life to impact others.
      Will you go on the Great Adventure when no one else supports your efforts or seems excited about what God is leading you to do? This can be particularly scarey when your friends and family are warning you not to go. Will you step out in faith without their blessing and support? How do you know what is from God-- Is this his calling into adventure or blocking the path you should not go on?  Sometimes God really does want us to stay in the rut a little longer but not to burn out there. Are you paying attention to what is going on in the rut? What is God teaching you while you are there? How is that preaparing you or possibly using you to prepare others to step out with new excitement and boldness for Christ?
    Last spring I was so excited about where I thought God was leading me and just knew with every fiber of my being that last summer was going to be a big year for the ranch. I felt God calling me to use my own horse in a program to help the very people already soliciting the ranch for counsel. However, in early spring when my beloved horse, Jazz, had a tragic hoof injury that threatened her life, all my dreams for the ranch and Riding School and our Trail Riding fellowship were sucked away.  I was tempted to slip into a great depression, even contemplating selling the ranch. Why had God brought us here just to take away our dreams and the very purpose he'd called us here for?
    I can see now that not only was he teaching me to trust him every day but he was preparing others to catch the vision with me. This year, again, as we head into spring, even in winter, I am excited about what God is doing each day preparing us for an exciting year at the ranch. Over the last year, God has really had me under the radar; in little things and in big things.  Working with difficult people, God taught me to change my response without expecting others to change. Instead of coming out of a situation feeling hurt and unforgiving, God has shown me how to deal with hurtful people without becoming hurtful myself.  In same cases to shake the dust off my feet and move on.
    It is a process. Sometimes I fell on my face before the Lord, scared that Jazz was not going to recover. Other days, I walked boldly in faith with a small sign of hope God gave to encourage me even when her doctors tried to prepare me for the worst. Continuing to pay attention to God in the average day, when you feel alone in your efforts, or can't see noticeable results is challenging. Working with others who sabatoge your efforts or take credit for your success can tempt you to fight back with pride and hurtful responses. Remember you are far from average, you are a child of God. God has you under his radar. He is paying attention to every breath you take. No matter what anyone else believes about you-- God knows you as his beloved child. You are precious to him and he is with you in every moment preparing the way for you and calling you into the excitement of the Great Adventure.

WORDS OF THANKSGIVING!

Every breath I take,
Every move I make,
Every thought of thee
You created me,
I am thanking you!

Every Song I sing,
Every summer and spring,
Every flower I smell,
I got a story to tell,
I am thanking you!

Thank you for my job,
Thank you for my mom,
Thank you for my dad,
All the love I've had,
I am thanking you!

Every sight I see,
Every friend I meet,
Every tune I hear,
Wiping off a tear,
I am thanking you!

Every prayer I pray,
Every single day,
Every hug and kiss,
All the ones I miss,
I am thanking you!

Every dance I dance,
Every circumstance,
Every surf and swim,
All the places I've been
I am thanking you!

Thanks for my kids,
Thanks for my grandkids,
Thanks for all those I can bless,
Your Holy presence
I am thanking you!

Thank you for my sister,
And the one I never met,
Thank you for my brothers,
And the one I can't forget
I am thanking you!

Thanks for family and friends,
Thanks for love that never ends,
Thanks for kind acts from strangers,
And love laying in a manger.
I am thanking you!

Every river that flows,
Every plant that grows,
Every baby born,
You're amazing Lord
I am thanking you!

Every horse to ride,
Every cat beside,
Every loyal pet,
that I ever met
I am thanking you!

Thank you for your son,
Thank you your three in one,
Thank you for choosing me,
Opening my eyes to see,
I am thanking you!

Thankful to those who died,
Preserving country pride,
Thankful to those who stand,
Protecting this great land,
I am thanking you!

Every meal I eat,
Every sweet treat,
Every single day,
I will always say,
I am thanking you!

Every rain drop,
Every soda pop,
Every snow flake,
Every day I wake,
I am thanking you!

Thank you for the word of life,
that comforts all our strife,
Thank you for eternity,
Looking forward to see,
I am thanking you!

Thank you for love, peace, and joy
For patience, goodness, and kindness,
For faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control
For the fruit of the spirit--
I am thanking you!

There is so much more,
Lord I can't even say
Everything I am thankful for
Everyday!
Thank you for life, thank you for loving me,
Thank you for calling me to be your own.

Day Thirty-One: The Right Hand of Fellowship



So Happy You're Here


     "What is the right hand of fellowship?" More Christian lingo, I thought. Wikipedia defines the Right Hand of Fellowship as an act of acceptance by the church to those deemed worthy. However, when those esteemed as pillars of the new testament church gave the right hand of fellowship to Paul and Barnabas it was because they recognized the grace given to them not because they thought they were worthy of it. I can only imagine that even though the church knew of their past sins they were confident they had accepted Christ as their saviour from those sins. "We know who you were, we know the grace you were given, and we are excited to see what God is going to do with you now."
     "James, Cephas[a] and John, those esteemed as pillars, gave me and Barnabas the right hand of fellowship when they recognized the grace given to me." Galatians 2:8-10
     When I became a member of my new church, I had come from several churches that didn't have formal membership. I stood before the church and the pastor announced my decision to become a member. The pastor asked the congregation to, "Come and extend the right hand of fellowship to our new members." I just thought it was a greeting, a welcome, or a way to just meet the new people. Slowly as I grow in membership to the church I realize it is more than a welcome. How exciting! "Not a mere welcome to the church but rather 'Welcome to your new life in Christ!'"
    People love to belong. The need to feel part of something is why there are so many ways to identify yourself with a group. It is wonderful to belong to the Kingdom of Christ and when churches come together to celebrate that it is a very moving thing. If you've ever attended a Women of Faith conference or a Promise Keepers meeting you know how powerful that can feel. However, belonging to a small, local fellowship is a huge part of that Kingdom life. "And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds,  not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching." Hebrews 10:24-26
     That fellowship begins by the recognition that others give you as a believer. Not only are you accepted for who you are but you are accepted for the grace that you have been given. It's more than unconditional love; it is being accepted as an imperfect human being perfected by Christ. The Right Hand of Fellowship is given as a formal acknowledgement of the grace we share between us."

Hard Work

 "So I decided there is nothing better under the sun than to enjoy food and drink and to find satisfaction in one's work. Then I realized that these pleasures are from the hand of God."  Ecclesiastes 2:24 (NLT)

Pleasures from the hand of God

   Last night after putting up square bales in the barn with my son, I realized how blessed I was to enjoy hard work. There is a great satisifaction in a job well done. We worked together as a team, helping each other overcome our weaknesses, and laughing when the bales got the best of us. Today as I worked at my other job I felt the sting of last night's adventure on my knuckles and smiled. My body felt strong  from the workout and the reminder on my knuckles of that blessed time watching my son enjoying hardwork and team work made me smile.

   Sometimes I wonder what I would be doing if I wasn't spending my days off tyring to keep up with the ranch and my home. I can only imagine I'd be wandering around trying to find some unproductive activities to do to fill up my days. Each of my children relate to the ranch in different ways, all a blessing, and not one of them is afraid of hard work. 
   I am truly blessed with a job that I love and hard work on the ranch that I enjoy so much. And doubly blessed to be able to share it with others, especially when I get to share it with my children and soon my grandchildren.

30 of 90

    You may have noticed I have posted 1/3 of our 90 day study and they are not coming in daily. Two reasons: I try to complete my personal study first and some days that is all I manage to get done. Secondly, the topics have been a little more challenging than I expected. I have spent several days praying over some of the topics before I can manage to type up a post. I hope you are finding the breaks acceptable and taking advantage of those times to catch up on any of the study you have missed. Hopefully the more laid back approach is also helpful for those joining the study late.
   I appreciate all the comments I have gotten on facebook and through emails. Feel free to add your comments to the blog as well. You may comment on any of the posts and your comments should appear on our comments updates board. I would be more than happy to generate a discussion on the blog for any related topics on recent or past posts.
   Study posts will always begin with the Day of the Study and the title: Such as Day Thirty: How Do I Know I Can Trust You? You should be able to do a blog search on any day that you need. For example, "Day Thirty." There are also links under the study guide for the corresponding study book and bible readings. Other posts will be interlaced as Riders For Christ gets up and running as well as other posts of interests to Riders for Christ and Friends of R4C Ranch.
  I have began "My Riding Journal" on http://riders4c.blogspot.com/ for anyone interested in following along on our journey to Grand Prix!

Day Thirty: How Do I Know I Can Trust You?

Hearing Whispers In the Rain

     There is nothing more frustrating than hearing, "I'm sorry," and then having the same infraction repeated over and over again. How many times do you respond, "You're forgiven," and trust that person not to hurt you again in the same way? Maybe the first time, maybe even the second time but by the third time you are probably starting to wonder if you can trust them. After awhile you are probably questioning the very sincerity of thier apology. Ever felt like someone was just playing a game with you and the apology was just to save themselves the pain of suffering the consequences of their actions.
    It took a few  years of raising four kids to realize that letting a child off the hook for infractions because they were good at apologizing was not enough. One day I lined them up and explained, "if there is an infraction someone will pay the consequence. I will do my best to pick the guilty party, sometimes I may not be right but no infraction will go unpaid." It was amazing how quickly things turned around. An apology without an action to make up for it is empty. No empty apologies accepted, thanks anyway.
    "Whatever happens, conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ. Then, whether I come and see you or only hear about you in my absence, I will know that you stand firm in one spirit, contending as one man for the faith of the gospel (Phil 1:27)."
    It is difficult to "contend as one" when you don't trust the one you are contending with. Do you know others who claim to be Christians but you find it difficult to 'stand firm together with them in one spirit'? Do you ask yourself, "How do I know I can trust you?" I can imagine that John had a real difficult time believing Paul was a  true Christian. Paul, as Saul before his conversion, murdered Christians and now he claimed to be one. If it was me, I'd have a hard time not thinking Paul was a hypocrite just trying to get into the inner circle of disciples to kill them.
   To stand in one spirit, do you have to trust the spirit you are standing with? How do you know you can trust another's spirit? This is obviously a question of the ages. Ultimately our trust is not in man but in God alone, however, we are called to be discerning and to hold believers accountable. As an apology without action is shallow and empty, so is a spirit without fruit. You are called to be discerning without being judgemental. That is done by examing "the fruit of the spirit that is love, joy, patience, faithfulness, goodness, kindness, gentleness, peace, and self-control."
   When John was called to stand one in spirit with Paul, how could he have known that Paul was not a hypocrite trying to get close to the disciples to harm them? I hope we will explore more about this as we study John's reaction to Paul's testimony but my current thoughts are that he would examine the fruit of Paul's newly confessed faith. Is there evidence of the fruit of the spirit since his claim of conversion?
    What would an examination of your claims of faith reveal?

Day Twenty-Nine: No! No! No!

     "The awesomeness of God's answerless presence." I love this line Beth uses to help us understand the times when God acts differently than we expect or had hoped. Maybe someone you love died of an illness you'd been praying for God to heal, maybe you learn of another war, or see images of a town devasted by a natural disaster. Why is God allowing such things to happen in the world? Sometimes we just don't have the answers.

You knit me together
in my mother's womb

     When I first became a born-again Christian, I sought after God intellectually. I did discover some amazing scientific facts that supported the claims for Christ and even many events that the bible shares. I took a course called the Alpha course which ran scripture proofs though the tests of time. If you every wonder about the proofs for scripture read, "The Case for Christ" written by an atheist attorney whose attempt to prove his own beliefs convinced himself Jesus was the Messiah.

     I was excited that God was willing to show me all the proof I needed that Jesus was the Risen One before I made any committment to follow. 

However, it was the unanswered question that sealed the deal. After Columbine I was angry at God for Rachel's tears. I didn't know Jesus and I wasn't too thrilled with hanging out in church if this was how God treated believers. When evening worship didn't answer my questions about the tragedy at Columbine, I decided to wash my hands of it and got up to walk out. My husband followed me to the lobby and said, "Do you want to get dessert somewhere?" 

     Yea," I replied, "there is nothing left for me here." 

     I stopped at the front doors and peered out into the parking and God's presence engulfed me and I couldn't leave.

     "Or did  you want to go back in?" my husband asked. "I'll take you to Perkins or we can back in whatever you want to do." 

You are my portion, everything
I need is in You



   Angrily I turned away from the doors, brushing past him, I said, "I can't leave." God had given me a choice that night, with him or without him. I got no answers about Columbine other than the knowing that God was sovereign and even though I couldn't intellectualize what was going on in his allowing that tradegy, He did. God didn't cause the tradegy, he just didn't stop it for reasons beyond our comprehension. But He knew the hurts and tears and thoughts of every person that tragedy involved or touched through it. The Holy Spirit greived with us. 

   It is during these times, when God offers no answers that we can sometimes feel his Presence the most. I saw the wonderful testimonies that Rachel's tears did to restore the faith of many of our youth just like Rachel had said she was called to do in her notebook. Like Beth Moore so eloquently put it, in the end "we crave far more than explanations the unshakable conviciton that He is utterly, supremely God."

Day Twenty-Eight: Do I know you?



For You are our Peace

        Christians are often stereotyped with the idea that if you do not believe the same as them then they want to send you to hell. This may have started with the idea that James and John presented to Jesus about the Samarians. They wanted to call fire down from heaven due to a small infraction. But Jesus had other plans, he arranged for John to be an ambassador to the Samarians. And this is the part that non-beleivers don't understand about Christians: we are being tested in our faith and God is leading us to overcome our prejudices and love the people he loves especially those that could easily be our enemies.
      As a Christian, it is easy to walk our your faith among those who agree with you, but walking out your faith among those who don't believe is a bit more of a challenge. Walking out your faith among those who want to challenge your faith or even attack you for your faith, that is what Christians are called to do. Not to convert others, that is the work of the Holy Spirit, but rather to grow you in your faith and discipleship and go our and share God's love through Christ.
     It doesn't take long to know who shares your faith and who doesn't, even among those who claim to be Christians but don't back up their beliefs with their actions. Not saying that we all back up our claims with action 100% of the time. However, some say they believe Christ died for them but clearly their lives do not show any signs of change. You can't have the indwelling of the Holy Spirit without seeing some kind of change from your unbeleiving life. It is a constant journey to grow in your faith and become more like Christ in every part of your life. If nothing is changing, then it begs the question of who or what you are following.
     Relationships and relations are some of the most difficult challenges God gives us. How do we deal with people who don't think like us? Who don't believe what we beleive? And even those who attack the beliefs we hold most precious? Curiously those who don't beleive in Jesus have the same questions. Why do you think the topic of tolerance comes up over and over and over? Its like the world is shouting out "Why can't we all just get along? Why can't we all just have it our own way?" The answer is simple no matter what you believe: You can't beleive you are right and at the same time beleive someone who believe some thing that contradicts with that is right, too. But you can appreciate their search for the truth and believe in the promises of Christ who says, "I am the way, the truth, and the life. Seek me and  you will find me." That promise is for everyone no matter what they believe right now!

Day Twenty-Seven: Muzzles into Megaphones



Offer the Living Water

      I often think back on the time when my daughter brought back a children's picture bible from the playground in our apartment complex. She was so excited that a group was meeting there and they gave her a free book. I on the other hand was upset that someone was trying to indoctrinate my daughter into their religious beliefs without my permission. What was I afraid of? Looking back I think I was more afraid of not knowing, whole heartedly what I truly believed so that I could pass it along to her.
      The day I became assured of my faith I was no longer afraid of the beliefs of others. No longer was it my belief I was proselytizing but now it was the Truth I was walking out. Interesting that our passage reading for today talks both about the indwelling of the Holy Spirit and about preaching the good news. How do you know when to keep quiet and when to share your testimony without the prompting of the Holy Spirit?
     Have you ever called someone up and never gotten a chance to tell them why you called? Maybe they are so excited to hear your voice that they begin sharing their own good news with you and forget you called them. You wait for a good moment to "change the subject" but the opportunity never comes. You don't want to interupt so you just listen. Eventually you get a break, "I almost forgot the reason I called was..."
     Sharing the good news is not about preaching but rather sharing what you believe to be true. People do this all day. I listen to what people beleive all day. So there is usually an opportunity to at least throw in my two cents worth of what I beleive. I know it's worth a lot more than two cents but I don't often get more than a few sound bites. I love it when those sound bites come inspired by the Holy Spirit.
    When you share your testimony about Christ you may get a few questions thrown at you? Some questions  are genuine questions but others are only meant to trip you up in an attempt to make you look foolish for what you believe. Other responses may be more aggressive such as harrassment or chastisement.
    It is amazing that the same patterns of Christian persecution keep coming back around. Interesting when almost every other religion is tolerated but there appears to be an intolerance for the Christian faith. What are they afraid of? When it seems doors are closing and people are careful when and how to share their faith, God opens doors of opportunity to reach out to the hurting with testimonies of your faith. Even in countries where Christians are being killed for their beleif in Christ, God is opening doors of opportunity to reach out to the lost who need him.
   Do you feel like you can practice your faith fully unafraid of persecution?  Has God used that to open up doors of opportunity for you to share your faith with others?

Day Twenty-Six: Beggars in Beautiful Places

Where morning dawns and evening fades,
you call forth Songs of Joy!

    As the sun rose over the lake, I stood with my three preschool children and meditated on its beauty. It was an extremely spiritual moment. We had come to witness the first rays of the summer solstice. As I practiced the rituals of my new age religion, my words thanked Father Sky and Mother Earth for their beauty but my heart felt no reply. The moment was filled with wonder and beauty but no personal connection.
     The day I stepped under a fourth of July tent and accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Saviour, everything seemed to came together. The beauty of God's creation embraced the beginning of a personal relationship with Christ. I was on top of the world until the bottom dropped out.
     At some point after my husband's death I was tired of grieving. I longed to set down the burden of this sorrow even though it kept rearing its ugly head at every turn. One morning, I was sitting on my father-in-law's deck in sunny California reading my bible as the sun came up over his property. The birds were singing in the background and I opened my bible to Psalm 65:8; "Where morning dawns and evening fades you call forth songs of joy!" I truly felt a rush of joy in God's sunrise, something I had known before I knew Christ, and the words from this scripture amplified the birds welcoming the new day with their songs of joy. That night as we sat out on the deck and watched the sun go down the crickets were singing their own songs. Their joyful melody reminded me of my morning scripture and it was at the point I realized that no matter what I had to face in the middle of the day there were two anchor points in every day that God promised to bring forth songs of joy. I made decision at that moment not to miss any of them!
     This teaching reminds me of the joy that I had in my old ways searching for a connection with nature. It's God's creation so no wonder our souls are drawn to it. How pleasing to realize that God doesn't expect us to turn away from the joy we found in our places of peace and joy that he gave us when we were lost to him. But how much greater peace and joy those places will bring when we go there with Him. Thank you Jesus!
     This chapter in Beth Moore's study is jam packed with way too much to cover in one blog post. She not only covered the joy of bringing our heritage with us but also understanding the true freedom in religion, giving what we have to others, and how we respond to those in need. You may want to take more than one day to let this chapter soak in.

Day Twenty-Five: Spiritual Connections

Leap of Faith

     My thirteen year old was explaining the art of asking a girl out to me. He said, "It's a leap of faith, mom. They might say, "yes," but there is a chance they will say, "no." But if you don't take that leap of faith you never know the answer." I feel your pain son. Being newly single in my forties was not comfortable. It's just not as simple as it was in my early twenties when most of the men in my peer group were single and still looking. Now the men are older, most are married, and few of those are even intersted in women their own age. I think the leap required is much wider than it used to be and a lot farther to fall.
     There is more evidence and historical records to back up the claims of the bible than there is to tell if someone is interested in you before you take the leap and ask them out. Though God always requires a leap of faith I don't beleive he wants us to jump without evidence. The evidence supports Christ claims of who he is but putting our faith in him requires a leap. You've probably heard the analogy of the wheel barrel across the grand canyon. It's one thing to believe the guy can push it across on the tight rope and another to jump in and ride in the wheel barrel while he does it. No matter how many times you've seen it done; jumping in takes a leap of faith.
     I hope you are following along in Beth Moore's study. This chapter is full of the evidences and a wonderful comparison of the old testament festivals to the life and sacrifice of Christ fulfilled in the new testament. We are are in the midst of God's sovereign will and timing no matter what we beleive.
    Before I was a beleiver, a co-worker was sharing his belief in Christ with me as I smiled and thought "Man, he is really convinced of this stuff." I so wanted a faith I could be sure of like his and for several more years kept searching. I always felt like I was almost there... each new discovery was almost the full truth.
     When I got saved, several years later, I realized what was missing in all my previous searching, "It was a leap of faith in God as my saviour." All I thought I needed was to know more facts and the truth of the world would soon become evident and I believed I could find it all if I kept searching. The day I realized I didn't need to and couldn't possibly know everything, I realized all  I did need was to be rescued from a fallen world. That was the day I found what I was looking for, "a faith with conviction",  like my co-worker I had found "the way, the truth, and the life."

Day Twenty-Four: Coming and Going

Do you see what I see?

    "Do you see what I see?" is a game my son and I often play. Staring into the clouds we name the shapes we see. "Do you see the alligator?" "Do you see the elephant?" "Do you see the sail boat?" The object of the game  is to find what the other person saw before it disappears or changes shape. It's amazing how the clouds form and change their shape and disappear without a trace.

     One day we will look up into the sky and ask, "Do you see Jesus?" "Then "everyone will see the Son of Man coming on the clouds with great power and glory (Mark 13:26)."  Just as he went up, in accordance with Acts 1:11, 'in the same way that they have seen Him going into heaven' he will return. The disciples got the honor of watching his ascension into heaven. They saw him walking and talking after his death. If that wasn't enough, they got to stand with him as he lifted off and floated up into the clouds disappearing into heaven. Christ will return in the same way he left, riding on the clouds.

Why do you stand looking up into heaven?

     Are you looking up into heaven with a great expectation of his return as he promised? Are you living as if at any given moment you will look up in the sky and see Jesus returning? No one knows the day or the time a thief will call on your home or your car but more than likely you lock your doors every time you leave them. No one knows the day or time Jesus will return but we know where. Every time you walk out the door, do you look up to the clouds with great expectations? One day "everyone will see the Son of Man coming on the clouds with great power and glory."

     Do you see the alligator? Do you see the sail boat? Do you see the Son of Man?

Day Twenty-Three: Love Goes Around

Love Knows No Bounds

      When my first son was born, I fell madly in love. They put that baby in my arms and my heart felt a love I had never experienced before. Over the next two years my husband and I built a life around this baby and our passion in life was to watch as he experienced every new milestone. From his first giggle to his first step to his first fall in the snow, we were so in tune and in love we followed him everywhere to make sure we didn't miss anything. We were infatuated.
     Before my second child was born I was worried I wouldn't be able to love another baby the way I loved my first born. However, the day they placed her in my arms I realized a thing or two about love. Love expands a heart, it does not divide it. Have you ever noticed a person when they fall in love? Their whole world brightens up and  they seem to fall in love with everyone around them. Love expands.
    When you love someone you do things you would not normally do. I would never have raised my voice to an Air Force Captain, reached across the desk of a government official, or wrote a three page letter to a school principal, if not for the love of a child. I would have never sat in 106 degree heat to watch a ball game, stayed up all night watching the front door, or slept cramped in a chair while eight months pregnant, if not for the love of a child. If not for love, I would have never ran without thinking through a barb-wire fence, delivered a breech puppy, or touched a tick.
    There are many things we would never think of doing that we would do without thinking for the love of a child or a beloved pet. What would you do for the love of Jesus?  Does your love for Christ expand your heart and overflow to others? If you are still compartmentalizing your love, then you may need to reaccess your motivation because action motivated by love is not contained by a box or rationed out in portions. Action motivated by love is unguarded, unrestrained, and unbounded.

Day Twenty-Two: Diving in the Deep End

Fling Wide Those Heavenly Gates

     The excitement of a new believer is probably one of the most misunderstood phenomenons among unbelievers than anything else they witness in born again Christians. To the new believer, the lights just came on and the doors to a new world have been flung open. It is so exciting you can't help but want to share that with everyone you meet. If you saw Jesus waiting at the bottom of a cliff, no doubt you wouldn't hesitate to jump. On lookers may think you've gone off the deep end because they don't see Jesus with open arms waiting to catch you.

     If you have been a Christian for awhile, what do you think when you see a mature Christian with a zealous spirit like Peter had when he saw Jesus and jumped in the lake to get to him. Are you excited for them or do you think they are acting foolish? As you grow closer to Jesus do you tend to jump in more or are you more guarded than a new believer?

    Not all new believers receive Christ with impetuousity, some of us came to Christ with a reserved spirit, letting the spirit gently lure our spirit to Christ. But there is that moment, when you want to shout "YES" and jump in without needing to test the water first. It is always a surprise when you realize you are in the air and there is no turning back! It's a sweet, sweet surprise when you realize you are filled with the Holy Spirit and no one can take that away from you.

Day Twenty-One: Do Bees

Cease Striving and Know God

     On the third day Jesus rose again and walked among them for 40 days. As followers the disciples had pretty much figured out their role at the feet of Jesus, they were students and Jesus was their teacher. A much more comfortable role than at the foot of the cross. When Jesus appeared after the cruxificion he didn't return to the old way of doing things. He appeared among them at his own will and calling. For these forty days and the days following ascension, I imagine the disciples felt lost and unsure of what their new role would be. As Beth Moore writes, "I'm not sure they knew how they fit into Christ's plans from this side of the grave."
     Do you ever wonder how you fit into Christ's plans? I know we often wonder how Christ fits into our plans but do we ever really try to understand how we fit into Christ's plans. Of all the things I am getting out this study of John, this is the big one I want to truly understand. What is my role in Christ's plans now? I need to have an understanding of what Christ's plans are before I can begin to understand my role in them. Many people are searching for God's purpose for them or trying desparately to do God's will in their lives. I think these are noble challenges but truly taking the time to study and understand Christ and his role in God's plans is the key to finding where we fit in corporately and individually.
         "Cease striving and know that I am God," Psalm 46:10, what a relief that verse brings. Stop and rest your body and your mind and just Know God. This reminds me of a story my dad told of a young scout at camp who stopped unexpectedly on the trail and squatted down. My dad just watched him as he stooped over a rock for several minutes. He finally came in closer and stooped down next to him and saw he was staring at a butterfly on the rock.They stared together for quite some time, my dad saying nothing just being there beside this young boy as he watched the butterfly intently. Finally the boy looked up at him and said, "Isn't that cool."
        How often? How well do you just cease and know God? When is the last time you just turned off your own thoughts and let God enter in?

Day Twenty: Improving Ground

And because we know that what we sow
 does not come to life unless it dies -1 Cor 15:37

        I managed to ignore the stick in the ground all winter. In the spring, even when the other trees all around it were budding and growing thick shawls of green the stick that stuck in the ground without a bud on it never bothered me. Even though this was the tree my late husband's family planted in his memory three years ago,  I had convinced myself , "It was just a tree." Even though we had dug it up when we sold the house we bought together and replanted it at our new home last spring, I had convinced myself, "It was just a tree." I knew it had little chance of surviving such a difficult move. "It was just a tree" until the day I noticed something on it's branch, what was that I wondered, "A bud?" It was a bud. The tree was budding, it survived. Within a few weeks it was more than a stick, it was a tree with green leaves on it. Within a few weeks it was more than a tree, it was the center of a wonderful memorial garden for my husband.
   For three years, the tree bloomed with a larger and larger bouquet of green leaves. Although always the last tree to bud in the spring, sort of like my husband, always late. The tree become the center of celebrating how much his life meant to us. Last Christmas the kids decorated the tree with special ornaments they bought for him, each with its special significance to one of his children. It has been filled with chimes they have collected in his memory. As special as the tree has become, when I heard the news that the storm had taken out the tree, I told myself, "It's just a tree." It is not like my husband was taken out by the storm, "It's just a tree."

     The kids and I tried to detach our emotions for our beloved husband and father, from this tree. Although we were sad when we saw the tree snapped in half about a foot off the ground, we knew in our hearts it wasn't another loss of a person but just a tree. With or without the tree, we still miss him. I think even my father-in-law was sad to hear about the tree. I think he was happy when he learned that the tree got moved to the new property and survived. There was something about that tree that touched everyones' hearts. He said we should check the tree and see if had grown any saplings around it.

     So I quickly ran out to check, and there around the base of the tree was abundant new life. Within hours of finding the saplings, a new garden began to appear around the fallen tree. The kids brought decorated stones and we put up a new border and planted new flowers. Where there was once sadness and yes a sense of loss, there was new hope and encouragement that someone was looking out for even our precious memories.

    "There was a garden in the place where He was crucified," John 19:41. In the same place where their was death, there was life. In the same place where there were feelings of hopelessness, there was the Hope of the World. Where there is death, there is life.
     What kind of tender shoots have you seen growing up from dead wood?

Day Nineteen: I've Been There

Stop the world, let me off

     John remained close to Jesus even when it looked like the mission he was on failed. He watched his King suffer at the hands of others, he watched what he may have felt was defeat as Jesus hung on the cross. Though in those dark moments he remained near to him, I am sure he was feeling very defeated and unsure of the future, unsure of the victory.

     I feel that way today. My horse seemed to survive all the obstacles and was still walking two weeks ago. She has had good days and bad days, victories and set backs since she got a serious hoof injury in the spring. Not more than three days ago the vet gave me a wonderful report, one that sparked so much hope in my heart that I even day dreamed of riding her again next spring. As I watched her hobble up to get her hay tonight, I felt defeated by this major set back. Her leg is swollen the size of a cantaloupe. After five months, this setback has made me feel defeated. “Lord, I don’t think I can take anymore.”

     I am sure John felt defeated at the foot of the cross long before Jesus took his last breath but John remained faithful. Some situations make you feel like you're hanging onto the world by a thread but that thread of faith is the hope of things unseen. That thread of faith keeps you hanging on, remaining near the one who sent you hoping he'll pull you in with a rope.

Day Eighteen: Mother and Son

      The night I dropped my twelve year old off at his first campout, I offered to give the scoutmaster my cell phone number. “Just call me if he has any problems and I can come and get him.” The scoutmaster put his arm around me and walked me toward my car, “I have never called a parent to pick up a boy from camp. He’ll figure it out.” My little boy, who had never slept a night without a nightlight and certainly never outside in a tent in the woods without his mom, made it through his first night in the woods. He said it was rough the first night, he could hardly sleep and had wanted to come home. “The next morning was worth it,” he said. They cooked their own breakfast over an open fire and learned to use a bear

knife.

     “The second night,” he said, “was a snap.” Maybe because he was armed with the knowledge of how to use a bear knife, maybe because his mom let him alone long enough to stand up to the challenge and grow up. When my son hopped in the car after the campout he said, “You dropped off a boy but you picked up a scout.”

     When Jesus looked down from the cross and told Mary, “This is your son,” I am sure John perked up and was flooded with questions about what that meant. The responsibilities of a son to take care of his mother, especially his Lord’s mother, must have seemed enormous. What a challenge he’d been given and yet, what an honor. I imagine that John, the little brother, grew up a lot that day. Now he had the responsibility to care for Jesus’ mother and I am sure he rose up to the occasion and surprised a lot of people, especially the older disciples.

     God calls us to stand up and take on the challenges of growing up in our faith. What experiences have you been through that made you perk up and realize it was time to grow up and be a faithful leader in a situation or role that you play in Christ?STUDY GUIDE:

Day Seventeen: Strength Personified

I AM THERE

    I was thirteen when my big brother died. I never saw my parents cry. I witnessed a few hugs but they tried hard to maintain a strong appearance in front of the kids. It was years before I heard anyone mention his name I assumed to keep from upsetting us. I was twenty the first time my mom and I had a nice conversation about my big brother. I was visiting after being away from home for awhile and I said, “I miss Mitch, I want to tell him all the neat things I am doing.” She said she missed him too and we sat and shared a few wonderful stories together. After that it got much easier to talk about him with the family.
     Those years of silence, the years where mom and dad maintained a strong appearance were very painful. I know now how lonely grieving is no matter how much you talk about your loved one but just once I needed to see them cry. I needed to know that they hurt as much as I was hurting. I needed to know they missed him so much it hurt their very soul.

Day Sixteen: The Judas in Us.

     “Then Satan entered Judas,” at this point in the story I am quite concerned. Can that happen? Could Satan enter me? Thankfully I can not think of a great anecdote to start off my post with as I usually do. I can not think of one of my life stories that can set this up. “Then Satan entered Judas.” Judas, a follower of Christ and God allowed Satan to enter him. This puzzles me. Was Judas a hypocrite? Was he not truly saved? Is anyone else flooded with questions about this?

Things aren't always what they look like.

      Can Judas be held accountable for betraying Christ if Satan had entered him? Can't Judas just play the card, “The devil made me do it?” The bible indicates that Judas was a willing vessel. How could anyone be willing to allow Satan to enter? Maybe they don’t know any better but Judas walked with Jesus. How could he not know any better? How could he not realize the options or the dangers? What did he hope to gain? Did he hope to gain power and wealth in this world?

    We live in a sinful world when do we hold people accountable for what they choose to do?

Day Fifteen: Lean In

I'll be your firend, I'll help you carry on~

"Sometimes in our lives we all have pain
We all have sorrow
But if we are wise
We always know that there's tomorrow

Lean On Me, when you're not strong
And I'll be your friend
I'll help you carry on
For it won't be long
'Til I'm gonna need
Somebody to lean on

Please swallow your pride
If I have things you need to borrow
For no one can fill those of your needs
That you don't let show

Lean On Me, when you're not strong
And I'll be your friend
I'll help you carry on
For it won't be long
'Til I'm gonna need
Somebody to lean on

If there is a load you have to bear
That you can't carry
I'm right up the road
I'll share your load
If you just call me

So just call on me brother, when you need a hand
We all need somebody to make it
I just might have a problem that you'd understand
We all need somebody to make it

Lean on me when you're not strong
And I'll be your friend
I'll help you carry on
For it won't be long
Till I'm gonna need
Somebody to lean on"

Lean On Me...[By Bill Withers]

Day Fourteen: Secret Missions

Search, Discover, Share

     Every day I am wondering what this day has to do with God’s plan for me. However, today I was acutely reminded that he is working in me and I have faith He is struggling to bring out the best in me. I had seriously judged someone and as much as I tried not to I jumped to conclusions about this person. Interestingly enough I ran into this person later in the day in the most unlikely place that a person I had judged to be what I thought he was would be. And people treated him in a way that I was forced to rethink the way I had thought about him. I am still trying to figure out the irony of this whole ordeal and all I can figure is that God is doing a great work in me. Seeing this person today in this rare setting would have been puzzling any day but not so much a great work in my character had God not brought us together in conflict earlier this week and day. God’s timing is so perfect that I knew our meetings this week were not by chance but by design. Designed to build a better character in me.
1. How deeply do you believe that each day is another opportunity to be on mission with God, that He has tasks in mind for you today that are specifically ordained for you life?

Day Thirteen: Growing Uppity

Quiet Suffering

    “Are you able to drink the cup I drink or to be baptized with the baptism I am baptized with?” I can hardly handle the suffering and the pain in my tiny little story on earth and I can not even conceive of the suffering and the pain Christ endured for me. However, we do have the advantage point that James and John did not. We know the cup that Jesus was to drink and the baptism he would be baptized with. They obviously had no idea for they answered him without hesitation, “We are able.”
     We were chosen to walk with Christ despite our ignorance and inability to share fully his pain and suffering for us. Though walking with Christ means we will endure suffering in his name, my desire is often selfish as I only desire to share in his Joy. My desire is to be near Christ, in his inner circle, and though I seek only the joy I know that Jesus will be there to help me bear the suffering that comes with it. And knowing that suffering will come, I still desire nothing more than to be with Christ and no where else.
     Walking with Christ means being a servant, not wanting to be first. Walking with Christ means having a mindset of servitude not self-fulfillment. Sometimes this means enduring an inner suffering, a quiet suffering that to truly serve means crying out to Christ from a quiet place.
1. In what way does this ‘servant” and slave mentality have the hardest time getting through?

A Daily Prayer If You're Feeling Attacked

A chaplain shared this with me  to pray daily while my daughter is deployed. I wanted to share it with you if you are feeling attacked he recommends praying God's word, in particular Psalm 91 daily.

Psalm 91
1 He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.

2 I will say of the LORD, "He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust."
3 Surely he will save you from the fowler's snare and from the deadly pestilence.
4 He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.
5 You will not fear the terror of night, nor the arrow that flies by day,
6 nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness, nor the plague that destroys at midday.
7 A thousand may fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand, but it will not come near you.
8 You will only observe with your eyes and see the punishment of the wicked.
9 If you make the Most High your dwelling— even the LORD, who is my refuge-
10 then no harm will befall you, no disaster will come near your tent.
11 For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways;
12 they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.
13 You will tread upon the lion and the cobra; you will trample the great lion and the serpent.
14 "Because he loves me," says the LORD, "I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.
15 He will call upon me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him.
16 With long life will I satisfy him and show him my salvation."

Short Break

Sorry for the departure from the study. I am having a little internet connection problems. They should be resolved by this weekend and we will get back on track. Enjoy this time in personal reflection on God's word and/or catch up with the first 12 days of the 90 day study if you'd like to join us!

Day Twelve: High Horses

Pure Power
 (image by Carol Poland)

     It sounds like James and John were getting pretty excited about the new powers Jesus had delegated to them. "Should we call down fire from heaven," they asked. Jesus rebuked them helping them learn to keep their powers in proper perspective. Have you ever been in a position where someone has let their position of authority go to their head? If those with power are not held accountable to those they have power over, then things can get very ugly. Jesus was teaching them that with power comes great responsibility.

     But can you blame them for getting excited? How awesome to be able to walk with the King and receive his authority to cast out demons and call down fire from heaven! They were priviledged to walk in Jesus' inner circle. The problems began when they decided to withhold priviledges from others who weren't in their circle. Jesus said, "for whoever is not against you is for you."

     It is easy to get that "inner circle" syndrome when you are among seekers or non-committed Christians who don't walk out their Christianity the same as you. Maybe you don't think their Christianity is as real as the believers in your small group or that possibly they are non-believers. I think in these passages Jesus is reminding us not to be the judge and especially not to rank the believers. 'Don't worry about it,' he cautions, 'as long as they are not against you they are for you.'

Day Eleven: Triple Wow

NOW THIS WOULD TRANSFORM A HOT SUMMER NIGHT

     I want to see Jesus’ transformation and fall on my face in inexpressible awe. It must have been amazing to see Jesus walking around and talking to them after they watched him hang on that cross and saw the very breath of life escape from him. I found it interesting that they only saw him during those 40 days appear and disappear at his will. They couldn’t just go up to his house and ring the bell and ask him to visit with them. Instead they would be gathering together somewhere and Jesus would surprise them by appearing among them.
     Imagine what it must have been like to see him appear in the flesh once again with clothes so dazzling white there was nothing on earth that compared to it. Not to mention, he was hanging out with Elijah and Moses carrying on a conversation. What a sight that must have been!

Day Ten: Behind the Veil

           Jesus took Peter, John, and James into the room with him to raise up the little girl from her death bed. Imagine being one of the few chosen to be with Jesus at this time. Already Jesus had chosen only twelve to be close to him but of the twelve he specifically choses only three for this particular moment. It is interesting to ponder why. I also wonder what they must have been thinking.

           Here everyone thinks the little girl is dead. There are already mourners wailing at her home. Jesus walks in with the three disciples and tells the girl to get up and she does. I wonder if Jesus was not trying to teach Peter, John, and James that things are not always what they seem to be. Don't assume you know the outcome of the situation, let Jesus walk into the situation and change it.

Kiss and Make Up

            Most of today's study is geared toward relationships. Facing the death of a loved can leave a lot of things unresolved in our hearts. Beth is reminding us of the bible's wise instruction to keep our relationships settled so you don't have any regrets.

"Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one body. "In your anger do not sin": Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. He who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with his own hands, that he may have something to share with those in need. Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you (Ephesian 4:25-32)."

Day Nine: Ambush at Dawn

Every New Day I Turn to You

      When the disciples-to-be went to find Jesus they said, "Everyone is looking for you." The value of his outward mission seemed more pressing to them than Jesus' solitary time in prayer. And you almost feel like Jesus confirms that when he comes back and says, "Let's go on to the next village so I can preach there because that is why I have come." But it makes me wonder if it was not that time in solitary prayer that kept him on track with his outward mission. Why does the bible make a point of having him spending time in solitary prayer before he boldly stated his purpose?
      I believe it is this solitary prayer time that God uses to set our course and put purpose into our hearts. Without private times with God, we are just tossing around in the wind without a rudder. Maybe it was this geniune desire for personal direction that was needed before they could be called legitimate disciples.
      Corporate worship and group studies are great and they are good at fanning our flames and making them grow higher.  But the fuel of that fire must be started in our private, personal relationship with Christ. Without someone putting new fuel in the pit soon there will be no fire to stoke. What value do you put on your solitary times with the Lord?

Day Eight: Good for What Ails You

     After reading and re-reading today's lesson trying to find the words to articulate some kernel of truth; I thought it might be best to take a moment of silence for reflection. Topic: relationships. Take a moment to reflect on the Joy God has brought you though the relationships you have had over your lifetime. Who has been there for most of the years? What about those who you knew only for a short time but left a big impact?

Day Seven: Scenes on a Sabbath Day

Broken Tree

     Healing is often a controversial subject even among the Christian community. TV "healers" have overdramatized the faith healing movement and made skeptics due to their flash and show. Many believers have prayed for healing and never seen it. I spent hours in hands-on prayer praying for my husband to be healed. I was hurt when I was told by a fellow Christian that he wasn't healed because he didn't have enough faith. For a long time after that I was afraid to pray for healing for others, "What if my lack of faith causes them to lose their healing?" Now I realize that is ridiculous. God said, "No," and neither my husband or I could have "worked up" enough faith to change his mind.

Below the Broken Tree

            But I do not believe that one prayer that we prayed to heal him was wasted. Revelation 5:8 says, "....they were holding golden bowls full of incense, which are the prayers of the saints." God treasures our prayers so much that he saves them in golden bowls. When you are waiting on the results of a serious diagnosis, do you only call someone that can heal you or do you call your bestfriend and let them know how scared you are?

Day Six: A Sheer Show of Strength

Displays of God's Glory

          When my husband and I first came to know Christ as adults, I was on fire. I was so amazed at all the wisdom that was contained in the bible that I couldn't get enough. We signed up for a bible study small group and I was so eager to share with them all the suprises I was finding in God's word. "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Galatians 5:22). If that is all you had in the world what an amazing life you would have," I shared with excitement, "Isn't that just amazing?" My group responded with smiles and grins and chuckles obviously enjoying my new believer excitement and the fact that I didn't realize that was one of the most popular verses among believers. The day I stood at the Christian bookstore and saw that verse on plates and posters and coffee mugs, I realized why I got so many grins and chuckles.
          God's word didn't just get me excited about my new life in Christ, it also affected the way I looked at the past. Before we made the decision to live for Christ, my husband and I had gone through a roller-coaster of a relationship. I had grown extremely bitter and angry and felt that I had given up my youth to fight a losing battle. Looking back on our years together I could only see the pain and suffering. When I read, "I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten (Joel 2:25)," I fell on my face and weeped. It was this promise from God that helped restore our joy in marriage. When I recieved Jesus' forgiveness, I was also able to forgive my husband and for the first time in years, I looked back on our 16 years of marriage and could see there were some really great times. God had truly restored the years that were destroyed by the locusts.
        Amazed by the power of Christ forgiveness and the promises coming true in his word, I ran back and shared them with my bible study group. Those that have experienced the amazing way Christ transforms our lives, knew exactly what I was talking about. Just like the disciples might have sounded when they shared the miracles that they were witnessing in their early walk with Jesus, I am sure those that had seen a miracle or two knew exactly why they were so excited. Those that hadn't experienced Christ may have thought the stories were overdramatic.
      Amazing things seemed to come at us right and left when we first opened our life up to the Truths we found in God's word. I never wanted to become complacent with it. 1. Why does God often seem to delight in new converts with bold, visible displays of His glory, while trusting His older saints to follow with less flowery fireworks?       

Day Five: Time with Jesus

     It is easy to think that you can’t keep up with the Jones’ when the only time you enter their home it is by invitation. Mrs. Jones pays the kids double their regular allowance to help prepare for your arrival and even pays the neighbor boy to mow the lawn and trim around the edge of the sidewalk with a weed eater. She is so particular about how the house looks when guests arrive she even bought fresh plants to put in the window seal for the occasion. Too bad you didn’t show up twenty minutes earlier for the tail end of the argument she had with Mr. Jones to take out the garbage before the guests arrived. You could have watched her frantically putting the vacuum away so that you wouldn’t know that she just finished cleaning the carpets.

     You look at Mrs. Jones’ house and wish your house was so neat and orderly and finely decorated. You leave feeling horribly inadequate. The fact is you have no idea what the Jones’ house really looks like. It’s all dolled up to impress you and obviously you don’t have a close enough relationship to be invited over on the spur of the moment. If you did drop by unannounced, good chance Mrs. Jones would greet you on the porch to talk in order to keep up her appearances.

     Fact number two, the Joneses quarrel about as much as you and your spouse but you don’t know it because they are good at keeping up the appearances when guests are around. I know this because I have lived with the Jones’. You really do not know a person until you spend time with them. Yes, you can learn a little about the Jones family during these formal invitations but not as much as you will learn if you drop in on occasion unannounced and get invited into the family living area; the places where life happens in the Jones family. Yes, even in the Jones’ house the laundry and dirty dishes and junk mail piles up. And if you took up residence in the spare bedroom for a few months you would learn more about the way the real Jones family deals with each other in their daily lives. Of course if you don’t have that much time just help the Joneses move. You can learn a lot about a family in one weekend by helping them box up and move their personal belongings especially the last day when everyone is tired and sweaty.

1.What kinds of benefits begin to flow into your life after spending long periods of time with Christ? How do your attitudes and perspectives begin to change?