Day Twenty-Nine: No! No! No!

     "The awesomeness of God's answerless presence." I love this line Beth uses to help us understand the times when God acts differently than we expect or had hoped. Maybe someone you love died of an illness you'd been praying for God to heal, maybe you learn of another war, or see images of a town devasted by a natural disaster. Why is God allowing such things to happen in the world? Sometimes we just don't have the answers.

You knit me together
in my mother's womb

     When I first became a born-again Christian, I sought after God intellectually. I did discover some amazing scientific facts that supported the claims for Christ and even many events that the bible shares. I took a course called the Alpha course which ran scripture proofs though the tests of time. If you every wonder about the proofs for scripture read, "The Case for Christ" written by an atheist attorney whose attempt to prove his own beliefs convinced himself Jesus was the Messiah.

     I was excited that God was willing to show me all the proof I needed that Jesus was the Risen One before I made any committment to follow. 

However, it was the unanswered question that sealed the deal. After Columbine I was angry at God for Rachel's tears. I didn't know Jesus and I wasn't too thrilled with hanging out in church if this was how God treated believers. When evening worship didn't answer my questions about the tragedy at Columbine, I decided to wash my hands of it and got up to walk out. My husband followed me to the lobby and said, "Do you want to get dessert somewhere?" 

     Yea," I replied, "there is nothing left for me here." 

     I stopped at the front doors and peered out into the parking and God's presence engulfed me and I couldn't leave.

     "Or did  you want to go back in?" my husband asked. "I'll take you to Perkins or we can back in whatever you want to do." 

You are my portion, everything
I need is in You



   Angrily I turned away from the doors, brushing past him, I said, "I can't leave." God had given me a choice that night, with him or without him. I got no answers about Columbine other than the knowing that God was sovereign and even though I couldn't intellectualize what was going on in his allowing that tradegy, He did. God didn't cause the tradegy, he just didn't stop it for reasons beyond our comprehension. But He knew the hurts and tears and thoughts of every person that tragedy involved or touched through it. The Holy Spirit greived with us. 

   It is during these times, when God offers no answers that we can sometimes feel his Presence the most. I saw the wonderful testimonies that Rachel's tears did to restore the faith of many of our youth just like Rachel had said she was called to do in her notebook. Like Beth Moore so eloquently put it, in the end "we crave far more than explanations the unshakable conviciton that He is utterly, supremely God."

STUDY GUIDE:

 Follow along in JOHN: 90 Days with the Beloved Disciple by Beth Moore pages 137-142
 Read Acts 12:1-5
 Answer the questions in your study guide.
 Share a brief highlight or two from your thoughts and answers in a comment posted to the group. (Read guidelines and cautions posted August 1, 2010 before you post).

 Read the comments of others and share your thoughts and encouragement with them by replying to their comments. Identify which post you are responding to by addressing them and their subject or pasting a brief portion of their reply at the start of your post.

PRAY WITH ME:



Lord, we long for your presence for knowing you are there. Lord, we long for knowing, knowing you are God. We crave for an unshakable conviction that you are utterly and supremely God. Give us the courage to see you as you are,  the wisdom to know it is you, and the Joy of your unending, faithful love for us. In Jesus name, Amen.