Day Thirty-Three: Insecure Identities

        Busying myself with ranch work helped me ignore the worries trying to crawl up from my gut during my son's deployment to Iraq. "No news is good news," my son told me several times. I walked out of the barn to find out what had set the dog alarms off. Stepping out of a long black car, two men in suits stepped out onto our gravel drive and started walking toward the barn where I stood frozen in place. My heart raced and I recalled my son's words, "No news is good news. If something  happens they will let you know." For a second I thought this was the visit that every parent with a deployed child dreads. The thoughts of the day a military official shows up at your door with bad news linger somewhere just below your subconscious continuously until the day you hold that child in your arms again safe and sound on the homeland. Just short of collapsing I reminded myself that military uniforms, not black suits, would be the appropriate apparel to deliver any devastating news. Eager to confirm my presumptions, I am sure in a less than friendly tone I blurted out, "What do you want?" I may not have seemed very Christian-like to those two Jehovah Witnesses as I sent them on their way but I hope they realized how much of a start they gave me.  We don't get many unannounced visitors out here in the country and it was just really bad timing on their part.
      I don't know if I will respond any better if it happens again during my daughter's deployment to Afghanistan. However, I am armed with a new tool I learned at our family deployment briefing. The Army psychologist somewhat repackaged my son's 'no news is good news' advice. He advised us to rely only on the facts that we know and not to fill in the blanks with our emotions or imaginations. If you haven't heard from your soldier in a week or two, don't imagine the worst. Stick to the facts that you know- last time you heard from them they were fine. They are fine until you receive new facts.
       When you're weary, tired of struggling, or feeling insignificant or insecure, the same advice holds true. Believe what you know from God's word not what Satan wants you to feel from the lies and deception of this world. Stick with the facts that you know to be true. You are a child of God; a prince or princess in the Royal family of Christ. God loves you unconditionally. God knows what is going on in your life... he is not surprised by the men in black in suits. No matter what you think or feel is going on-- remember God has the plan for you; "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
        God tested John's character for many years of seemingly insignificance in preparation for him to receive a great prophecy and write Revelations. "If our hearts condemn us, God is greater than our hearts and knows all things." 1 John 3:20 Don't let your desire for worldly significance overshadow who you already are in God's eyes: you are significant; fearfully and wonderfully made in your mother's womb-- God created your inmost being and His works are wonderful.

"Mystic's Quest"

"In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials." 1 Peter 1:6

If it wasn't enough that 2010 started out with a life-threatening injury to one of my dearest friends, my horse, Jazz, the year ended with the sudden death of a beautiful, arabian mare, Mystic.  I found her cast in a small ditch on Sunday and we could not get her back on her feet. My heart cries out, "Why?" but my spirit knows that God has a plan, even for her. And no one can argue there will be horses in heaven!! "The armies of heaven were following him, riding on white horses and dressed in fine linen, white and clean." Rev 19:14

Mystic came to the ranch in 2006 with her best friend Quest. An almost pony size mare that I had the pleasure of teaching to halter and lead. She was such a smart little mare and even after a long winter break always started her lessons right where we left off. She seemed to enjoy the ground games. Although she was always relunctant to let me reach out and pet her neck without a lot of desensitizing exercises, after our  games she would follow me around like a puppy dog. This year I had planned to take her through the levels of Dressage and prepare her for a small rider, just her size.

Of all the horses I have worked with, I was always the most relaxed with Mystic. She never did anything threatening and my whole goal was just to help her learn to trust us more. She taught me to smile and relax when I approach; something that doesn't come easy to a results driven type A personality. Disappearing from the herd a couple times last week, I was suprised when she would eagerly come up to me when I called and without hestitation let me scratch her nose. Still a little reluctant when I reached out for her neck, she certainly seemed happy to see me.

This was a great trial; one of my greatest nightmares come to pass. I do not hestitate to put my trust in the Lord because I trust the Lord knows how much my body and soul ache with grief. Quest had guarded her until I came down and found her and there was no doubt that Shafina and Galahad knew there was something wrong. When the vet came out, they galloped around her and called out to her.  I know they expected us to help her. They trusted us just as we had trusted the Lord. They are off on their way now; grazing and frolicking in the pasture. Did they forget? Or do they just trust in the eternal nature of God?

Though still lame, Jazz will survive. I  am thankful she is walking and growing new hoof. I came to terms with the fact I may not ride Jazz again. Turning my focus to the pasture horses, I was excited by my spring training plan for Mystic and Quest. Just out of arm's reach, as Mystic often positioned herself, it feels as though she slipped out of my hands along with another dream. As my young wrangler says, my little mare is now on Mystic's Quest. Mystic's quest to find the green pastures God has prepared for her in heaven where she will find peace and never be afraid. I, too, set out on Mystic's quest to find God's peace in all of this.

"Do not be afraid," says the Lord, "I am your shield, your very great reward." Gen 15:1

Day Thirty-Two: Under the Radar

    "Church life to [the early disciples] was moving in the adrenaline and excitement of the Holy Ghost at the risk of life and limb," says Beth Moore claiming, "We are all built for adventure."
      Feeling average, moving boldly and nothing happens, thinking you're out on your own, or being stuck in a rut are all common reasons we miss the Great Adventure. Looking for adventure on an average day may suprise you. What might God be doing in and through you when you don't see noticeable results or receive any recognition? Think outside your box- it's not about what God is doing to impact your life but rather how God is using your life to impact others.
      Will you go on the Great Adventure when no one else supports your efforts or seems excited about what God is leading you to do? This can be particularly scarey when your friends and family are warning you not to go. Will you step out in faith without their blessing and support? How do you know what is from God-- Is this his calling into adventure or blocking the path you should not go on?  Sometimes God really does want us to stay in the rut a little longer but not to burn out there. Are you paying attention to what is going on in the rut? What is God teaching you while you are there? How is that preaparing you or possibly using you to prepare others to step out with new excitement and boldness for Christ?
    Last spring I was so excited about where I thought God was leading me and just knew with every fiber of my being that last summer was going to be a big year for the ranch. I felt God calling me to use my own horse in a program to help the very people already soliciting the ranch for counsel. However, in early spring when my beloved horse, Jazz, had a tragic hoof injury that threatened her life, all my dreams for the ranch and Riding School and our Trail Riding fellowship were sucked away.  I was tempted to slip into a great depression, even contemplating selling the ranch. Why had God brought us here just to take away our dreams and the very purpose he'd called us here for?
    I can see now that not only was he teaching me to trust him every day but he was preparing others to catch the vision with me. This year, again, as we head into spring, even in winter, I am excited about what God is doing each day preparing us for an exciting year at the ranch. Over the last year, God has really had me under the radar; in little things and in big things.  Working with difficult people, God taught me to change my response without expecting others to change. Instead of coming out of a situation feeling hurt and unforgiving, God has shown me how to deal with hurtful people without becoming hurtful myself.  In same cases to shake the dust off my feet and move on.
    It is a process. Sometimes I fell on my face before the Lord, scared that Jazz was not going to recover. Other days, I walked boldly in faith with a small sign of hope God gave to encourage me even when her doctors tried to prepare me for the worst. Continuing to pay attention to God in the average day, when you feel alone in your efforts, or can't see noticeable results is challenging. Working with others who sabatoge your efforts or take credit for your success can tempt you to fight back with pride and hurtful responses. Remember you are far from average, you are a child of God. God has you under his radar. He is paying attention to every breath you take. No matter what anyone else believes about you-- God knows you as his beloved child. You are precious to him and he is with you in every moment preparing the way for you and calling you into the excitement of the Great Adventure.

WORDS OF THANKSGIVING!

Every breath I take,
Every move I make,
Every thought of thee
You created me,
I am thanking you!

Every Song I sing,
Every summer and spring,
Every flower I smell,
I got a story to tell,
I am thanking you!

Thank you for my job,
Thank you for my mom,
Thank you for my dad,
All the love I've had,
I am thanking you!

Every sight I see,
Every friend I meet,
Every tune I hear,
Wiping off a tear,
I am thanking you!

Every prayer I pray,
Every single day,
Every hug and kiss,
All the ones I miss,
I am thanking you!

Every dance I dance,
Every circumstance,
Every surf and swim,
All the places I've been
I am thanking you!

Thanks for my kids,
Thanks for my grandkids,
Thanks for all those I can bless,
Your Holy presence
I am thanking you!

Thank you for my sister,
And the one I never met,
Thank you for my brothers,
And the one I can't forget
I am thanking you!

Thanks for family and friends,
Thanks for love that never ends,
Thanks for kind acts from strangers,
And love laying in a manger.
I am thanking you!

Every river that flows,
Every plant that grows,
Every baby born,
You're amazing Lord
I am thanking you!

Every horse to ride,
Every cat beside,
Every loyal pet,
that I ever met
I am thanking you!

Thank you for your son,
Thank you your three in one,
Thank you for choosing me,
Opening my eyes to see,
I am thanking you!

Thankful to those who died,
Preserving country pride,
Thankful to those who stand,
Protecting this great land,
I am thanking you!

Every meal I eat,
Every sweet treat,
Every single day,
I will always say,
I am thanking you!

Every rain drop,
Every soda pop,
Every snow flake,
Every day I wake,
I am thanking you!

Thank you for the word of life,
that comforts all our strife,
Thank you for eternity,
Looking forward to see,
I am thanking you!

Thank you for love, peace, and joy
For patience, goodness, and kindness,
For faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control
For the fruit of the spirit--
I am thanking you!

There is so much more,
Lord I can't even say
Everything I am thankful for
Everyday!
Thank you for life, thank you for loving me,
Thank you for calling me to be your own.

Day Thirty-One: The Right Hand of Fellowship



So Happy You're Here


     "What is the right hand of fellowship?" More Christian lingo, I thought. Wikipedia defines the Right Hand of Fellowship as an act of acceptance by the church to those deemed worthy. However, when those esteemed as pillars of the new testament church gave the right hand of fellowship to Paul and Barnabas it was because they recognized the grace given to them not because they thought they were worthy of it. I can only imagine that even though the church knew of their past sins they were confident they had accepted Christ as their saviour from those sins. "We know who you were, we know the grace you were given, and we are excited to see what God is going to do with you now."
     "James, Cephas[a] and John, those esteemed as pillars, gave me and Barnabas the right hand of fellowship when they recognized the grace given to me." Galatians 2:8-10
     When I became a member of my new church, I had come from several churches that didn't have formal membership. I stood before the church and the pastor announced my decision to become a member. The pastor asked the congregation to, "Come and extend the right hand of fellowship to our new members." I just thought it was a greeting, a welcome, or a way to just meet the new people. Slowly as I grow in membership to the church I realize it is more than a welcome. How exciting! "Not a mere welcome to the church but rather 'Welcome to your new life in Christ!'"
    People love to belong. The need to feel part of something is why there are so many ways to identify yourself with a group. It is wonderful to belong to the Kingdom of Christ and when churches come together to celebrate that it is a very moving thing. If you've ever attended a Women of Faith conference or a Promise Keepers meeting you know how powerful that can feel. However, belonging to a small, local fellowship is a huge part of that Kingdom life. "And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds,  not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching." Hebrews 10:24-26
     That fellowship begins by the recognition that others give you as a believer. Not only are you accepted for who you are but you are accepted for the grace that you have been given. It's more than unconditional love; it is being accepted as an imperfect human being perfected by Christ. The Right Hand of Fellowship is given as a formal acknowledgement of the grace we share between us."

Hard Work

 "So I decided there is nothing better under the sun than to enjoy food and drink and to find satisfaction in one's work. Then I realized that these pleasures are from the hand of God."  Ecclesiastes 2:24 (NLT)

Pleasures from the hand of God

   Last night after putting up square bales in the barn with my son, I realized how blessed I was to enjoy hard work. There is a great satisifaction in a job well done. We worked together as a team, helping each other overcome our weaknesses, and laughing when the bales got the best of us. Today as I worked at my other job I felt the sting of last night's adventure on my knuckles and smiled. My body felt strong  from the workout and the reminder on my knuckles of that blessed time watching my son enjoying hardwork and team work made me smile.

   Sometimes I wonder what I would be doing if I wasn't spending my days off tyring to keep up with the ranch and my home. I can only imagine I'd be wandering around trying to find some unproductive activities to do to fill up my days. Each of my children relate to the ranch in different ways, all a blessing, and not one of them is afraid of hard work. 
   I am truly blessed with a job that I love and hard work on the ranch that I enjoy so much. And doubly blessed to be able to share it with others, especially when I get to share it with my children and soon my grandchildren.

30 of 90

    You may have noticed I have posted 1/3 of our 90 day study and they are not coming in daily. Two reasons: I try to complete my personal study first and some days that is all I manage to get done. Secondly, the topics have been a little more challenging than I expected. I have spent several days praying over some of the topics before I can manage to type up a post. I hope you are finding the breaks acceptable and taking advantage of those times to catch up on any of the study you have missed. Hopefully the more laid back approach is also helpful for those joining the study late.
   I appreciate all the comments I have gotten on facebook and through emails. Feel free to add your comments to the blog as well. You may comment on any of the posts and your comments should appear on our comments updates board. I would be more than happy to generate a discussion on the blog for any related topics on recent or past posts.
   Study posts will always begin with the Day of the Study and the title: Such as Day Thirty: How Do I Know I Can Trust You? You should be able to do a blog search on any day that you need. For example, "Day Thirty." There are also links under the study guide for the corresponding study book and bible readings. Other posts will be interlaced as Riders For Christ gets up and running as well as other posts of interests to Riders for Christ and Friends of R4C Ranch.
  I have began "My Riding Journal" on http://riders4c.blogspot.com/ for anyone interested in following along on our journey to Grand Prix!

Day Thirty: How Do I Know I Can Trust You?

Hearing Whispers In the Rain

     There is nothing more frustrating than hearing, "I'm sorry," and then having the same infraction repeated over and over again. How many times do you respond, "You're forgiven," and trust that person not to hurt you again in the same way? Maybe the first time, maybe even the second time but by the third time you are probably starting to wonder if you can trust them. After awhile you are probably questioning the very sincerity of thier apology. Ever felt like someone was just playing a game with you and the apology was just to save themselves the pain of suffering the consequences of their actions.
    It took a few  years of raising four kids to realize that letting a child off the hook for infractions because they were good at apologizing was not enough. One day I lined them up and explained, "if there is an infraction someone will pay the consequence. I will do my best to pick the guilty party, sometimes I may not be right but no infraction will go unpaid." It was amazing how quickly things turned around. An apology without an action to make up for it is empty. No empty apologies accepted, thanks anyway.
    "Whatever happens, conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ. Then, whether I come and see you or only hear about you in my absence, I will know that you stand firm in one spirit, contending as one man for the faith of the gospel (Phil 1:27)."
    It is difficult to "contend as one" when you don't trust the one you are contending with. Do you know others who claim to be Christians but you find it difficult to 'stand firm together with them in one spirit'? Do you ask yourself, "How do I know I can trust you?" I can imagine that John had a real difficult time believing Paul was a  true Christian. Paul, as Saul before his conversion, murdered Christians and now he claimed to be one. If it was me, I'd have a hard time not thinking Paul was a hypocrite just trying to get into the inner circle of disciples to kill them.
   To stand in one spirit, do you have to trust the spirit you are standing with? How do you know you can trust another's spirit? This is obviously a question of the ages. Ultimately our trust is not in man but in God alone, however, we are called to be discerning and to hold believers accountable. As an apology without action is shallow and empty, so is a spirit without fruit. You are called to be discerning without being judgemental. That is done by examing "the fruit of the spirit that is love, joy, patience, faithfulness, goodness, kindness, gentleness, peace, and self-control."
   When John was called to stand one in spirit with Paul, how could he have known that Paul was not a hypocrite trying to get close to the disciples to harm them? I hope we will explore more about this as we study John's reaction to Paul's testimony but my current thoughts are that he would examine the fruit of Paul's newly confessed faith. Is there evidence of the fruit of the spirit since his claim of conversion?
    What would an examination of your claims of faith reveal?

Day Twenty-Nine: No! No! No!

     "The awesomeness of God's answerless presence." I love this line Beth uses to help us understand the times when God acts differently than we expect or had hoped. Maybe someone you love died of an illness you'd been praying for God to heal, maybe you learn of another war, or see images of a town devasted by a natural disaster. Why is God allowing such things to happen in the world? Sometimes we just don't have the answers.

You knit me together
in my mother's womb

     When I first became a born-again Christian, I sought after God intellectually. I did discover some amazing scientific facts that supported the claims for Christ and even many events that the bible shares. I took a course called the Alpha course which ran scripture proofs though the tests of time. If you every wonder about the proofs for scripture read, "The Case for Christ" written by an atheist attorney whose attempt to prove his own beliefs convinced himself Jesus was the Messiah.

     I was excited that God was willing to show me all the proof I needed that Jesus was the Risen One before I made any committment to follow. 

However, it was the unanswered question that sealed the deal. After Columbine I was angry at God for Rachel's tears. I didn't know Jesus and I wasn't too thrilled with hanging out in church if this was how God treated believers. When evening worship didn't answer my questions about the tragedy at Columbine, I decided to wash my hands of it and got up to walk out. My husband followed me to the lobby and said, "Do you want to get dessert somewhere?" 

     Yea," I replied, "there is nothing left for me here." 

     I stopped at the front doors and peered out into the parking and God's presence engulfed me and I couldn't leave.

     "Or did  you want to go back in?" my husband asked. "I'll take you to Perkins or we can back in whatever you want to do." 

You are my portion, everything
I need is in You



   Angrily I turned away from the doors, brushing past him, I said, "I can't leave." God had given me a choice that night, with him or without him. I got no answers about Columbine other than the knowing that God was sovereign and even though I couldn't intellectualize what was going on in his allowing that tradegy, He did. God didn't cause the tradegy, he just didn't stop it for reasons beyond our comprehension. But He knew the hurts and tears and thoughts of every person that tragedy involved or touched through it. The Holy Spirit greived with us. 

   It is during these times, when God offers no answers that we can sometimes feel his Presence the most. I saw the wonderful testimonies that Rachel's tears did to restore the faith of many of our youth just like Rachel had said she was called to do in her notebook. Like Beth Moore so eloquently put it, in the end "we crave far more than explanations the unshakable conviciton that He is utterly, supremely God."

Day Twenty-Eight: Do I know you?



For You are our Peace

        Christians are often stereotyped with the idea that if you do not believe the same as them then they want to send you to hell. This may have started with the idea that James and John presented to Jesus about the Samarians. They wanted to call fire down from heaven due to a small infraction. But Jesus had other plans, he arranged for John to be an ambassador to the Samarians. And this is the part that non-beleivers don't understand about Christians: we are being tested in our faith and God is leading us to overcome our prejudices and love the people he loves especially those that could easily be our enemies.
      As a Christian, it is easy to walk our your faith among those who agree with you, but walking out your faith among those who don't believe is a bit more of a challenge. Walking out your faith among those who want to challenge your faith or even attack you for your faith, that is what Christians are called to do. Not to convert others, that is the work of the Holy Spirit, but rather to grow you in your faith and discipleship and go our and share God's love through Christ.
     It doesn't take long to know who shares your faith and who doesn't, even among those who claim to be Christians but don't back up their beliefs with their actions. Not saying that we all back up our claims with action 100% of the time. However, some say they believe Christ died for them but clearly their lives do not show any signs of change. You can't have the indwelling of the Holy Spirit without seeing some kind of change from your unbeleiving life. It is a constant journey to grow in your faith and become more like Christ in every part of your life. If nothing is changing, then it begs the question of who or what you are following.
     Relationships and relations are some of the most difficult challenges God gives us. How do we deal with people who don't think like us? Who don't believe what we beleive? And even those who attack the beliefs we hold most precious? Curiously those who don't beleive in Jesus have the same questions. Why do you think the topic of tolerance comes up over and over and over? Its like the world is shouting out "Why can't we all just get along? Why can't we all just have it our own way?" The answer is simple no matter what you believe: You can't beleive you are right and at the same time beleive someone who believe some thing that contradicts with that is right, too. But you can appreciate their search for the truth and believe in the promises of Christ who says, "I am the way, the truth, and the life. Seek me and  you will find me." That promise is for everyone no matter what they believe right now!