Day Seventeen: Strength Personified

I AM THERE

    I was thirteen when my big brother died. I never saw my parents cry. I witnessed a few hugs but they tried hard to maintain a strong appearance in front of the kids. It was years before I heard anyone mention his name I assumed to keep from upsetting us. I was twenty the first time my mom and I had a nice conversation about my big brother. I was visiting after being away from home for awhile and I said, “I miss Mitch, I want to tell him all the neat things I am doing.” She said she missed him too and we sat and shared a few wonderful stories together. After that it got much easier to talk about him with the family.
     Those years of silence, the years where mom and dad maintained a strong appearance were very painful. I know now how lonely grieving is no matter how much you talk about your loved one but just once I needed to see them cry. I needed to know that they hurt as much as I was hurting. I needed to know they missed him so much it hurt their very soul.

Day Sixteen: The Judas in Us.

     “Then Satan entered Judas,” at this point in the story I am quite concerned. Can that happen? Could Satan enter me? Thankfully I can not think of a great anecdote to start off my post with as I usually do. I can not think of one of my life stories that can set this up. “Then Satan entered Judas.” Judas, a follower of Christ and God allowed Satan to enter him. This puzzles me. Was Judas a hypocrite? Was he not truly saved? Is anyone else flooded with questions about this?

Things aren't always what they look like.

      Can Judas be held accountable for betraying Christ if Satan had entered him? Can't Judas just play the card, “The devil made me do it?” The bible indicates that Judas was a willing vessel. How could anyone be willing to allow Satan to enter? Maybe they don’t know any better but Judas walked with Jesus. How could he not know any better? How could he not realize the options or the dangers? What did he hope to gain? Did he hope to gain power and wealth in this world?

    We live in a sinful world when do we hold people accountable for what they choose to do?

Day Fifteen: Lean In

I'll be your firend, I'll help you carry on~

"Sometimes in our lives we all have pain
We all have sorrow
But if we are wise
We always know that there's tomorrow

Lean On Me, when you're not strong
And I'll be your friend
I'll help you carry on
For it won't be long
'Til I'm gonna need
Somebody to lean on

Please swallow your pride
If I have things you need to borrow
For no one can fill those of your needs
That you don't let show

Lean On Me, when you're not strong
And I'll be your friend
I'll help you carry on
For it won't be long
'Til I'm gonna need
Somebody to lean on

If there is a load you have to bear
That you can't carry
I'm right up the road
I'll share your load
If you just call me

So just call on me brother, when you need a hand
We all need somebody to make it
I just might have a problem that you'd understand
We all need somebody to make it

Lean on me when you're not strong
And I'll be your friend
I'll help you carry on
For it won't be long
Till I'm gonna need
Somebody to lean on"

Lean On Me...[By Bill Withers]

Day Fourteen: Secret Missions

Search, Discover, Share

     Every day I am wondering what this day has to do with God’s plan for me. However, today I was acutely reminded that he is working in me and I have faith He is struggling to bring out the best in me. I had seriously judged someone and as much as I tried not to I jumped to conclusions about this person. Interestingly enough I ran into this person later in the day in the most unlikely place that a person I had judged to be what I thought he was would be. And people treated him in a way that I was forced to rethink the way I had thought about him. I am still trying to figure out the irony of this whole ordeal and all I can figure is that God is doing a great work in me. Seeing this person today in this rare setting would have been puzzling any day but not so much a great work in my character had God not brought us together in conflict earlier this week and day. God’s timing is so perfect that I knew our meetings this week were not by chance but by design. Designed to build a better character in me.
1. How deeply do you believe that each day is another opportunity to be on mission with God, that He has tasks in mind for you today that are specifically ordained for you life?

Day Thirteen: Growing Uppity

Quiet Suffering

    “Are you able to drink the cup I drink or to be baptized with the baptism I am baptized with?” I can hardly handle the suffering and the pain in my tiny little story on earth and I can not even conceive of the suffering and the pain Christ endured for me. However, we do have the advantage point that James and John did not. We know the cup that Jesus was to drink and the baptism he would be baptized with. They obviously had no idea for they answered him without hesitation, “We are able.”
     We were chosen to walk with Christ despite our ignorance and inability to share fully his pain and suffering for us. Though walking with Christ means we will endure suffering in his name, my desire is often selfish as I only desire to share in his Joy. My desire is to be near Christ, in his inner circle, and though I seek only the joy I know that Jesus will be there to help me bear the suffering that comes with it. And knowing that suffering will come, I still desire nothing more than to be with Christ and no where else.
     Walking with Christ means being a servant, not wanting to be first. Walking with Christ means having a mindset of servitude not self-fulfillment. Sometimes this means enduring an inner suffering, a quiet suffering that to truly serve means crying out to Christ from a quiet place.
1. In what way does this ‘servant” and slave mentality have the hardest time getting through?

A Daily Prayer If You're Feeling Attacked

A chaplain shared this with me  to pray daily while my daughter is deployed. I wanted to share it with you if you are feeling attacked he recommends praying God's word, in particular Psalm 91 daily.

Psalm 91
1 He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.

2 I will say of the LORD, "He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust."
3 Surely he will save you from the fowler's snare and from the deadly pestilence.
4 He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.
5 You will not fear the terror of night, nor the arrow that flies by day,
6 nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness, nor the plague that destroys at midday.
7 A thousand may fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand, but it will not come near you.
8 You will only observe with your eyes and see the punishment of the wicked.
9 If you make the Most High your dwelling— even the LORD, who is my refuge-
10 then no harm will befall you, no disaster will come near your tent.
11 For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways;
12 they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.
13 You will tread upon the lion and the cobra; you will trample the great lion and the serpent.
14 "Because he loves me," says the LORD, "I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.
15 He will call upon me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him.
16 With long life will I satisfy him and show him my salvation."

Short Break

Sorry for the departure from the study. I am having a little internet connection problems. They should be resolved by this weekend and we will get back on track. Enjoy this time in personal reflection on God's word and/or catch up with the first 12 days of the 90 day study if you'd like to join us!

Day Twelve: High Horses

Pure Power
 (image by Carol Poland)

     It sounds like James and John were getting pretty excited about the new powers Jesus had delegated to them. "Should we call down fire from heaven," they asked. Jesus rebuked them helping them learn to keep their powers in proper perspective. Have you ever been in a position where someone has let their position of authority go to their head? If those with power are not held accountable to those they have power over, then things can get very ugly. Jesus was teaching them that with power comes great responsibility.

     But can you blame them for getting excited? How awesome to be able to walk with the King and receive his authority to cast out demons and call down fire from heaven! They were priviledged to walk in Jesus' inner circle. The problems began when they decided to withhold priviledges from others who weren't in their circle. Jesus said, "for whoever is not against you is for you."

     It is easy to get that "inner circle" syndrome when you are among seekers or non-committed Christians who don't walk out their Christianity the same as you. Maybe you don't think their Christianity is as real as the believers in your small group or that possibly they are non-believers. I think in these passages Jesus is reminding us not to be the judge and especially not to rank the believers. 'Don't worry about it,' he cautions, 'as long as they are not against you they are for you.'

Day Eleven: Triple Wow

NOW THIS WOULD TRANSFORM A HOT SUMMER NIGHT

     I want to see Jesus’ transformation and fall on my face in inexpressible awe. It must have been amazing to see Jesus walking around and talking to them after they watched him hang on that cross and saw the very breath of life escape from him. I found it interesting that they only saw him during those 40 days appear and disappear at his will. They couldn’t just go up to his house and ring the bell and ask him to visit with them. Instead they would be gathering together somewhere and Jesus would surprise them by appearing among them.
     Imagine what it must have been like to see him appear in the flesh once again with clothes so dazzling white there was nothing on earth that compared to it. Not to mention, he was hanging out with Elijah and Moses carrying on a conversation. What a sight that must have been!

Day Ten: Behind the Veil

           Jesus took Peter, John, and James into the room with him to raise up the little girl from her death bed. Imagine being one of the few chosen to be with Jesus at this time. Already Jesus had chosen only twelve to be close to him but of the twelve he specifically choses only three for this particular moment. It is interesting to ponder why. I also wonder what they must have been thinking.

           Here everyone thinks the little girl is dead. There are already mourners wailing at her home. Jesus walks in with the three disciples and tells the girl to get up and she does. I wonder if Jesus was not trying to teach Peter, John, and James that things are not always what they seem to be. Don't assume you know the outcome of the situation, let Jesus walk into the situation and change it.

Kiss and Make Up

            Most of today's study is geared toward relationships. Facing the death of a loved can leave a lot of things unresolved in our hearts. Beth is reminding us of the bible's wise instruction to keep our relationships settled so you don't have any regrets.

"Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one body. "In your anger do not sin": Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. He who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with his own hands, that he may have something to share with those in need. Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you (Ephesian 4:25-32)."

Day Nine: Ambush at Dawn

Every New Day I Turn to You

      When the disciples-to-be went to find Jesus they said, "Everyone is looking for you." The value of his outward mission seemed more pressing to them than Jesus' solitary time in prayer. And you almost feel like Jesus confirms that when he comes back and says, "Let's go on to the next village so I can preach there because that is why I have come." But it makes me wonder if it was not that time in solitary prayer that kept him on track with his outward mission. Why does the bible make a point of having him spending time in solitary prayer before he boldly stated his purpose?
      I believe it is this solitary prayer time that God uses to set our course and put purpose into our hearts. Without private times with God, we are just tossing around in the wind without a rudder. Maybe it was this geniune desire for personal direction that was needed before they could be called legitimate disciples.
      Corporate worship and group studies are great and they are good at fanning our flames and making them grow higher.  But the fuel of that fire must be started in our private, personal relationship with Christ. Without someone putting new fuel in the pit soon there will be no fire to stoke. What value do you put on your solitary times with the Lord?

Day Eight: Good for What Ails You

     After reading and re-reading today's lesson trying to find the words to articulate some kernel of truth; I thought it might be best to take a moment of silence for reflection. Topic: relationships. Take a moment to reflect on the Joy God has brought you though the relationships you have had over your lifetime. Who has been there for most of the years? What about those who you knew only for a short time but left a big impact?

Day Seven: Scenes on a Sabbath Day

Broken Tree

     Healing is often a controversial subject even among the Christian community. TV "healers" have overdramatized the faith healing movement and made skeptics due to their flash and show. Many believers have prayed for healing and never seen it. I spent hours in hands-on prayer praying for my husband to be healed. I was hurt when I was told by a fellow Christian that he wasn't healed because he didn't have enough faith. For a long time after that I was afraid to pray for healing for others, "What if my lack of faith causes them to lose their healing?" Now I realize that is ridiculous. God said, "No," and neither my husband or I could have "worked up" enough faith to change his mind.

Below the Broken Tree

            But I do not believe that one prayer that we prayed to heal him was wasted. Revelation 5:8 says, "....they were holding golden bowls full of incense, which are the prayers of the saints." God treasures our prayers so much that he saves them in golden bowls. When you are waiting on the results of a serious diagnosis, do you only call someone that can heal you or do you call your bestfriend and let them know how scared you are?

Day Six: A Sheer Show of Strength

Displays of God's Glory

          When my husband and I first came to know Christ as adults, I was on fire. I was so amazed at all the wisdom that was contained in the bible that I couldn't get enough. We signed up for a bible study small group and I was so eager to share with them all the suprises I was finding in God's word. "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Galatians 5:22). If that is all you had in the world what an amazing life you would have," I shared with excitement, "Isn't that just amazing?" My group responded with smiles and grins and chuckles obviously enjoying my new believer excitement and the fact that I didn't realize that was one of the most popular verses among believers. The day I stood at the Christian bookstore and saw that verse on plates and posters and coffee mugs, I realized why I got so many grins and chuckles.
          God's word didn't just get me excited about my new life in Christ, it also affected the way I looked at the past. Before we made the decision to live for Christ, my husband and I had gone through a roller-coaster of a relationship. I had grown extremely bitter and angry and felt that I had given up my youth to fight a losing battle. Looking back on our years together I could only see the pain and suffering. When I read, "I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten (Joel 2:25)," I fell on my face and weeped. It was this promise from God that helped restore our joy in marriage. When I recieved Jesus' forgiveness, I was also able to forgive my husband and for the first time in years, I looked back on our 16 years of marriage and could see there were some really great times. God had truly restored the years that were destroyed by the locusts.
        Amazed by the power of Christ forgiveness and the promises coming true in his word, I ran back and shared them with my bible study group. Those that have experienced the amazing way Christ transforms our lives, knew exactly what I was talking about. Just like the disciples might have sounded when they shared the miracles that they were witnessing in their early walk with Jesus, I am sure those that had seen a miracle or two knew exactly why they were so excited. Those that hadn't experienced Christ may have thought the stories were overdramatic.
      Amazing things seemed to come at us right and left when we first opened our life up to the Truths we found in God's word. I never wanted to become complacent with it. 1. Why does God often seem to delight in new converts with bold, visible displays of His glory, while trusting His older saints to follow with less flowery fireworks?       

Day Five: Time with Jesus

     It is easy to think that you can’t keep up with the Jones’ when the only time you enter their home it is by invitation. Mrs. Jones pays the kids double their regular allowance to help prepare for your arrival and even pays the neighbor boy to mow the lawn and trim around the edge of the sidewalk with a weed eater. She is so particular about how the house looks when guests arrive she even bought fresh plants to put in the window seal for the occasion. Too bad you didn’t show up twenty minutes earlier for the tail end of the argument she had with Mr. Jones to take out the garbage before the guests arrived. You could have watched her frantically putting the vacuum away so that you wouldn’t know that she just finished cleaning the carpets.

     You look at Mrs. Jones’ house and wish your house was so neat and orderly and finely decorated. You leave feeling horribly inadequate. The fact is you have no idea what the Jones’ house really looks like. It’s all dolled up to impress you and obviously you don’t have a close enough relationship to be invited over on the spur of the moment. If you did drop by unannounced, good chance Mrs. Jones would greet you on the porch to talk in order to keep up her appearances.

     Fact number two, the Joneses quarrel about as much as you and your spouse but you don’t know it because they are good at keeping up the appearances when guests are around. I know this because I have lived with the Jones’. You really do not know a person until you spend time with them. Yes, you can learn a little about the Jones family during these formal invitations but not as much as you will learn if you drop in on occasion unannounced and get invited into the family living area; the places where life happens in the Jones family. Yes, even in the Jones’ house the laundry and dirty dishes and junk mail piles up. And if you took up residence in the spare bedroom for a few months you would learn more about the way the real Jones family deals with each other in their daily lives. Of course if you don’t have that much time just help the Joneses move. You can learn a lot about a family in one weekend by helping them box up and move their personal belongings especially the last day when everyone is tired and sweaty.

1.What kinds of benefits begin to flow into your life after spending long periods of time with Christ? How do your attitudes and perspectives begin to change?     

Day Four: A Father's Dilemna

Who Do You Trust?

      When I think about following a total stranger, I always get this picture of a man seen once clicking bones together and walking down Clinton Parkway in Lawrence, KS chanting something about Jesus. In this day and age, he seems a little crazy to us. Not many  of us would follow him anywhere. But what about a man like Jim Jones who lead over 900 followers to a church in Jonestown, Guyana. There he orchestrated a mass suicide in the name of his religion.
      Until I read Beth Moore's explanation of preparedness I wondered how could the apostles who dropped everything to follow Jesus, know this wasn't just some crazy on a self-serving mission. John and James were actually working in the family fishing business alongside their father when Jesus said follow me. And they got up and went. They gave up their place in their businesses and their families and stood up and followed. How brave is that? How must they have known Jesus' voice to be the true saviour? They didn't even consider the cost.
     We are being prepared to hear our master's voice so we will not be lead astray. I always pray that I hear and recognize Christ's voice. I don't want to follow some crazy even if it is just to hear him speak a Sunday morning sermon. If I am going to give up something, I only want to give it up for Christ and that includes my time on Sunday morning.
    1. When have you been called to give up something that you were just beginning to enjoy and appreciate?
How did you know it was Christ asking you to give it up?

Day Three: Preparation Day

Following Faithfully

     A simple task of transferring an audio cassette recording onto a multi-track recorder took me several months to accomplish. Most of that time was spent reading the owner’s manual and figuring out what all the buttons did. I was determined and in the end I had successfully made a CD of my favorite live recordings of the music my late husband had recorded of his bands. I was unaware that this therapeutic session down memory lane after my husband’s death was also a time of preparation. All I wanted was to preserve his music on CD for his kids.
     Mission’s month at church commenced shortly after I finished that CD. Every week a new missionary would speak and let us know what impact they were making for God in some far off place on the planet. I wanted God to call me to go out to a far place, too, but I was now a single parent with four children. I left those Sunday morning services feeling sorry for myself and asking God why he didn’t want to use me too. Why not me?
     One Sunday morning in the lobby a missionary came up to me and said he had heard I might be able to help him. “Is it true you have a home recording studio in your basement?” I informed him that it was actually my late husband’s but I was learning how to use it. “Perfect,” he said, “I am learning how to do a radio show and wondered if you would be willing to record it for me so I can send it to Uganda.” God had prepared me just enough to serve on a missionary project to a far off place on the planet right from my own basement.
2. How can you demonstrate your willingness to follow Him faithfully into whatever he knows is next for you?

Day Two: Amazing

     Basements tend to fill up quickly with things that we have no other place or use for than to hide when company comes over. My basement was no exception. It also had things that three of four children and a sibling had failed to take with them when they moved out. I had a dream for this room in the basement. I wanted to renovate it and make it into a small home theatre to use in a small group ministry I believed the Lord was calling me to do. Every once in awhile I felt inspired to go down into this dark pit and contemplate what it would take to get it ready. It was so overwhelming I would run back upstairs and avoid going back down for months.
     The night my son came upstairs and told me the basement was flooding, I waded through the water in tears. Staring at soaked carpet, soggy cardboard boxes of other people's things, and piles of wet clothes I had washed to go to the goodwill I cried out, "Lord, you know the plans I have for this room. I thought they were your plans, too. Why is it every time I feel you leading me somewhere, I feel like you put obstacles in my way?"
    I squished over the carpet to assess the damage and determine where the water was coming from. In the process of containing the leak, my son and I began saving what we could and moving it into a storage room up off the ground. We filled several large trash cans full of  water damaged items and hauled them down to the dumpster. Before I had even determined where the leak was coming from we had completely cleared out the room. Mopping up the water for the last time as the plumber installed a new water heater in the adjacent utility room, I looked at the room and smiled. It was completely empty, floors mopped, and ready to renovate.
   1. When was the last time Christ amazed you? How did it come about? What did it change about your or someone else's circumstance?

Day One: The Little Brother

THE LITTLE BROTHER

     My late husband was a gifted musician. It didn't take long after joining our fellowship for this fact to become well-known. I had to work on Sunday mornings so we had chosen this particular fellowship because it offered a Sunday evening worship service that we could attend together. Within two months I got the phone call, "Honey, I've been asked to help on the worship team. I know how important our worship time together is so I wanted to see what you thought of this first before I gave them my answer. The associate pastor told me they had been praying for a sound engineer and you know how much help they need with the sound." And so it began, "Who am I to stop you from being an answer to someone's prayer?" I said.
   My husband quickly became well-known in the church. He was given a budget and revamped the sound system in the sanctuary and put together a system in the children's church, he started teaching a class so others could learn how to run sound properly, he ran sound for Sunday morning services and Wednesday evening's youth group, and even began playing guitar with the worship team on Sunday mornings. I on the other hand dropped in on Sunday evenings for worship, sitting alone in the sanctuary and occassionally being introduced, "This is Mike's wife." Soon everyone knew who Mike's wife was but only a few knew my name.
     3. How have you been identifiedy by your relationship with others? In what ways has this limited you and in what ways has this been a blessing?   

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