Chapter 5 is part of a really large story so I am going break into two parts. Part One: Taming God
between our attempts to do so and the fate of our lives, do we give up trying?
Brent also mentions another curiousity of our lives that, "We don't know if we will play a part of significance in the future or not make it through the day." I have counseled with many people on a quest to find their purpose in life. I find it interesting that when people are actually in the midst of great purpose they appear to feel the greatest need to pursue the question, "What is my purpose?"
I conclude this based on the fruit of their efforts. An individual does not always see the fruit of their own labor or purpose if you will until maybe years later or their legacy comes to light after their death. While they are in the thick of it, laying the seeds or producing much fruit they can not see what God's purpose is for them. I think they are spiritually attacked with an overwhelming sense of purposelessness. Maybe an attack Satan uses to try to distract them from the significance of what God is accomplishing through them.
It could be that you find your sweet spot., you are in the zone and producing fruit and God changes your course or allows it to change drastically and you are left wondering. "What will you allow to happen next God?" "Why did you let this happen?" Even the question, "Why did you make me like this?" have been questions asked by the Godliest characters of the bible and probably by you a time or two. Ever wondered, "Do you care for me God?"
I remember growing up being the last picked for the square dancing, being too tall, too skinny, being made fun of, and praying God would make me fit in. God answered my prayer with an older brother who let me stand in his doorway and invited me in for counsel. He listened to all the struggles I had with friendships that were in turmoil as I reached adolescence and all the awkwardness of growing up too skinny and too tall and too shy and too awkward to survive junior high. He made me feel good about myself and gave me the courage to get out there and face another day. And in the same breath, at 3am on a Sunday morning near the end of 7th grade, God took my brother away. I struggled with that loss my whole life. It sealed the questions on my heart. "Do you care for me God?" "What will you let happen next?"
I began searching for answers in many other spiritual outlets and it was my husband who brought us back to Jesus. I was so excited to be in the arms of the healer again. Why else did He come? I believed God had finally decided to make up for the pain and suffering we had had in our lives. He healed our marriage and I beleived he had a great significant purpose planned for us in our lives as newly born-again believers. My husband lead his family back to God and died three years later. "Do you care for me God?" "What will you let happen next?"
I thought the bible was the script of this tragic drama I was living. If I studied the script long enough I would figure it out, it would all make sense and I would finally understand why God was letting this happen to me and I could be assured that He did care for me. Maybe I would learn what will happen next? But God is not to be fully comprehended by one human being such as I. The more I read the script, the more wild and unknowing I find God became. Not in such a way that a non-beleiver would say, "It is nonsense don't waste your time" but in a way that is more intimate, more intriguing, and yet more chaotic, unnerving, and of unfathomable magnititude. The wildness of God can be quite overwhelming if you do not grasp the faithfulness of his love for us. Undoubtedly, we can not confine God in the scripts we try to write for our own lives to give them purpose.
God can not be tamed.
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