Day Thirty-Six: I'm Full, Thank You



Walking out of Darkness


    Walking out of darkness is still in the dark, you can see the light but haven't reached it. What would be different if you lived in the light? 
    God is bringing us out of the darkness to live in the fullness of Christ's grace and truth. This is where the overflowing Joy of living in his fullness comes from.
    What would be different if you lived ahead of the darkness? You would be walking in the light not one step behind it. You would be soaking up the fullness of Christ. Every place, every room, every situation you enter would beam with His holy brightness. You would live with the expectation of God's favor and grace. Such a  fullness  in Christ  would have you pushing back from the table each day exclaiming, "'I'm Full, Thank you."

STUDY GUIDE

Follow along in JOHN: 90 Days with the Beloved Disciple by Beth Moore pages 171-176
 Read  John 1:14-18
 Answer the questions in your study guide.
 Share a brief highlight or two from your thoughts and answers in a comment posted to the group. (Read guidelines and cautions posted August 1, 2010 before you post).
 Read the comments of others and share your thoughts and encouragement with them by replying to their comments. Identify which post you are responding to by addressing them and their subject or pasting a brief portion of their reply at the start of your post.

PRAY WITH ME:
Lord, teach us to expect the fullness of your riches and grace in every situation. Let your power and strength awaken us, let your confidence of faith consume us, and let your favor and grace fall upon us in every place and situation we enter. Let our lives reflect your glory and let our inner most being over flow with your mercy and grace. In Jesus Name, Amen.

Day Thirty-Five: He Loves Me

Looking for Love, It's out there somewhere!

     This day's study reminded me of the lyrics, "Searching for love in all the wrong places." Where have you searched for love and acceptance? Your school friends; co-workers, parents, siblings, or bosses? Your spouse or children, even? Why do you think that love always lets you down or at times can not meet your expectations of true love? I believe there is an inherit desire to be loved and accepted. Most of our conflicts are about the very struggle to find love and acceptance somewhere, often anywhere. Maybe we long for it from one person in our life who withholds it from us.
     When we don't find it there, we try other things to hide or soothe the disapointment. Maybe we resort to drugs and alcohol to cover up the pain or fool ourselves into thinking we have found a deep connection with others that party with us. It could be that you search for love replacements in material things or hide away in your work or the busyness of your life trying to dull the pain of disappointment.
     A lot of relationship conflicts can be solved when we learn to quit expecting perfect love from imperfect love givers. There is only one who can give us the perfect love we desire and I believe the inherit desire is in us to keep bringing us back to him. The desire for love and acceptance can not be satisfied through any other source than the source of perfect love himself. But through love and acceptance with the perfect source of love we can learn to love others unconditionally and offer them a conduit to perfect love.
   "We know how much God loves us, and we have put our trust in his love. God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them." 1 John 4:16 (NLT)

 STUDY GUIDE

Follow along inJOHN: 90 Days with the Beloved Disciple by Beth Moore pages 167-170
 Read 1 John 4:13-19
 Answer the questions in your study guide.
 Share a brief highlight or two from your thoughts and answers in a comment posted to the group. (Read guidelines and cautions posted August 1, 2010 before you post).
 Read the comments of others and share your thoughts and encouragement with them by replying to their comments. Identify which post you are responding to by addressing them and their subject or pasting a brief portion of their reply at the start of your post.

PRAY WITH ME:
Lord, thank you for your perfect love. Thank you for letting  us remain in your love and loving us unconditionally through Christ Jesus. Help us to come to know and believe fully in the love and acceptance that God has for us. In Jesus Name, Amen.

Day Thirty-Four: Call of the World

     Having had to say goodbye to my young Arabian mare, Mystic, this week; I have struggled with the whole letting go concept. I sometimes contemplate my relationship to the horses and to the ranch. Am I putting them before God or letting God use me through them? If God called me away to follow him elsewhere, how difficult would it be to walk away and leave it all behind?
     It's like the question, if your house was burning down and you had time to go back and get one thing (assuming all your loved ones were out safely), what would you go back and get? How hard would it be to leave it all behind? I suppose it takes a lot of faith to lose everything like the folks in New Orleans who lost all their worldly possessions in Katrina, or those who have lost everything in a fire or tornado. It's just stuff you might say but can  you say with certainty that you are not so attached to your home and possessions even your job or your passion for a hobby, that you could walk away joyfully having enough faith God will take care of you. Could you leave it all behind knowing that God has everything  you need prepared for you, out ahead of you?
     Having had enough money and enough stuff and even learned to live after the loss of love, I could set out today and walk away from it all. I don't think it would be easy. Like it or not there is grief in this stuff. But we shake it off, we rebuild, we say goodbye. We do that because we trust God's love for us. I do that this week because I trust God's love for Mystic as well.
    More than anything I want to be in God's sweet spot for me, whether it is here on the ranch using the horses to give him glory and minister to others or even if he calls me to leave it all behind. I trust God's place for me and know that that is the only place I will ever find true purpose and pure Joy. Purpose and Joy do not come from the things of this world. God calls us out of our attachments to the world, so that we can live in his sweet spot in the world.

Day Thirty-Three: Insecure Identities

        Busying myself with ranch work helped me ignore the worries trying to crawl up from my gut during my son's deployment to Iraq. "No news is good news," my son told me several times. I walked out of the barn to find out what had set the dog alarms off. Stepping out of a long black car, two men in suits stepped out onto our gravel drive and started walking toward the barn where I stood frozen in place. My heart raced and I recalled my son's words, "No news is good news. If something  happens they will let you know." For a second I thought this was the visit that every parent with a deployed child dreads. The thoughts of the day a military official shows up at your door with bad news linger somewhere just below your subconscious continuously until the day you hold that child in your arms again safe and sound on the homeland. Just short of collapsing I reminded myself that military uniforms, not black suits, would be the appropriate apparel to deliver any devastating news. Eager to confirm my presumptions, I am sure in a less than friendly tone I blurted out, "What do you want?" I may not have seemed very Christian-like to those two Jehovah Witnesses as I sent them on their way but I hope they realized how much of a start they gave me.  We don't get many unannounced visitors out here in the country and it was just really bad timing on their part.
      I don't know if I will respond any better if it happens again during my daughter's deployment to Afghanistan. However, I am armed with a new tool I learned at our family deployment briefing. The Army psychologist somewhat repackaged my son's 'no news is good news' advice. He advised us to rely only on the facts that we know and not to fill in the blanks with our emotions or imaginations. If you haven't heard from your soldier in a week or two, don't imagine the worst. Stick to the facts that you know- last time you heard from them they were fine. They are fine until you receive new facts.
       When you're weary, tired of struggling, or feeling insignificant or insecure, the same advice holds true. Believe what you know from God's word not what Satan wants you to feel from the lies and deception of this world. Stick with the facts that you know to be true. You are a child of God; a prince or princess in the Royal family of Christ. God loves you unconditionally. God knows what is going on in your life... he is not surprised by the men in black in suits. No matter what you think or feel is going on-- remember God has the plan for you; "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
        God tested John's character for many years of seemingly insignificance in preparation for him to receive a great prophecy and write Revelations. "If our hearts condemn us, God is greater than our hearts and knows all things." 1 John 3:20 Don't let your desire for worldly significance overshadow who you already are in God's eyes: you are significant; fearfully and wonderfully made in your mother's womb-- God created your inmost being and His works are wonderful.

"Mystic's Quest"

"In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials." 1 Peter 1:6

If it wasn't enough that 2010 started out with a life-threatening injury to one of my dearest friends, my horse, Jazz, the year ended with the sudden death of a beautiful, arabian mare, Mystic.  I found her cast in a small ditch on Sunday and we could not get her back on her feet. My heart cries out, "Why?" but my spirit knows that God has a plan, even for her. And no one can argue there will be horses in heaven!! "The armies of heaven were following him, riding on white horses and dressed in fine linen, white and clean." Rev 19:14

Mystic came to the ranch in 2006 with her best friend Quest. An almost pony size mare that I had the pleasure of teaching to halter and lead. She was such a smart little mare and even after a long winter break always started her lessons right where we left off. She seemed to enjoy the ground games. Although she was always relunctant to let me reach out and pet her neck without a lot of desensitizing exercises, after our  games she would follow me around like a puppy dog. This year I had planned to take her through the levels of Dressage and prepare her for a small rider, just her size.

Of all the horses I have worked with, I was always the most relaxed with Mystic. She never did anything threatening and my whole goal was just to help her learn to trust us more. She taught me to smile and relax when I approach; something that doesn't come easy to a results driven type A personality. Disappearing from the herd a couple times last week, I was suprised when she would eagerly come up to me when I called and without hestitation let me scratch her nose. Still a little reluctant when I reached out for her neck, she certainly seemed happy to see me.

This was a great trial; one of my greatest nightmares come to pass. I do not hestitate to put my trust in the Lord because I trust the Lord knows how much my body and soul ache with grief. Quest had guarded her until I came down and found her and there was no doubt that Shafina and Galahad knew there was something wrong. When the vet came out, they galloped around her and called out to her.  I know they expected us to help her. They trusted us just as we had trusted the Lord. They are off on their way now; grazing and frolicking in the pasture. Did they forget? Or do they just trust in the eternal nature of God?

Though still lame, Jazz will survive. I  am thankful she is walking and growing new hoof. I came to terms with the fact I may not ride Jazz again. Turning my focus to the pasture horses, I was excited by my spring training plan for Mystic and Quest. Just out of arm's reach, as Mystic often positioned herself, it feels as though she slipped out of my hands along with another dream. As my young wrangler says, my little mare is now on Mystic's Quest. Mystic's quest to find the green pastures God has prepared for her in heaven where she will find peace and never be afraid. I, too, set out on Mystic's quest to find God's peace in all of this.

"Do not be afraid," says the Lord, "I am your shield, your very great reward." Gen 15:1